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Many are familiar with the awesome quotes (that will f*ck you up with all kinds of truth) from Eastbound and Down‘s Kenny Powers, but few realize the many real-life inspirations behind the fictional legend. Following Powers’ life lessons may get his followers nowhere, but at least they’ll have fun in the process. Powers always aimed to reclaim his own former glory, but the story behind the man is a riveting one indeed.

As this video reveals, Powers’ character name was taken from the 1970s stuntman who strapped a freaking rocket to his Lincoln Continental and tried to hop a body of water. Things did not go well in true Powers fashion. Atlanta Braves reliever John Rocker inspired many of the HBO Powers’ unfortunate statements against minorities. As far as Powers’ tendency to take out cameramen goes, Mets Reliever Kenny Rogers may have had a hand in that character trait. However, the most important detail of all — Powers’ glorious mullet — sprang from the head of Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams.

When it came down to the nitty gritty, the Eastbound and Down writers couldn’t simply pattern the character after one guy. Powers is kind of a big deal, so inspiration came from far and wide to make him come to life onscreen. Danny McBride was in charge of bringing it all together in epic fashion, and the man (unlike the character) delivered.

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If you needed a reason to give Ridley Scott and the Alien franchise another chance following Prometheus, you might have your reason. Danny McBride is in talks to take to the stars and head to “paradise” in deep space. Will Kenny Powers be whooping alien butt in another part of the universe, drinking tequila, and throwing fast balls like a god king?

The Wrap is bringing the exclusive details behind the possible casting for Alien: Covenant, including a few key points about the plot of the film and the remnants of Prometheus:

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, the crew of the colony ship Covenant discovers what they think is an uncharted paradise, but is actually a dark, dangerous world — whose sole inhabitant is the “synthetic” David (Fassbender), survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition.

Sole inhabitant doesn’t leave with a whole lot of glee or anticipation for action, but it does leave some mystery for where Noomi Rapace’s Elizabeth Shaw has gotten to since the first film. Is she dead? Is she in the clutches of whatever dark force brought them to the planet? Or is she just yet another husk for a xenomorph baby? It could be anything, but the excitement should be around Kenny Powers being the one to discover it all.

He’s already better than all of the scientists from the first film combined. This includes testy weed loving geologist who can’t read a map and our biologist who doesn’t think twice about touching a strange creature on an alien planet. Hopefully he’s a bit like his character from Land Of The Lost, with even less barriers against just killing the indigenous life — if there is any.

He should have some fun back and forth with David, at least. That’s why this needs to happen.

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(Via The Wrap / Slash Film)

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Let’s keep it real here: Kenny Powers is not a great role model, but every now and then he brings some concrete truth, and sometimes that’s what the world needs. While it may not behoove you to do as Kenny does, he does have a bevy of great quotes that you can use when you’ve had enough of the daily grind. Whether it’s sales, retail, customer service, or ass-kissing at the entrance of a superstore, KP can show you how to quit your job with style. So use these quotes from Eastbound and Down (which is available to stream anytime on HBO NOW) when it’s time to give yourself the pink slip.

“I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight. The coaches and owners are not giving me the sh*t I need to win… Get me paid, b*tch!”

HBO

Sometimes, it’s necessary to go the other way when you feel as if the team you’re playing on does not hold your best interests; Kenny Powers had to do this when he left his team in Atlanta to become a free agent. Powers bounced around several teams during his career, and you should follow Kenny’s lead: Find the right team for you and your goals. Also, remember Kenny’s final words before he left his press conference — getting paid correctly for your services isn’t everything, but it’s highly f*cking important. So, get paid.

“You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you.”

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Not every job is a perfect fit, and you might be able to see the telltale signs of a sh*tty gig within the first week. In that case, don’t be afraid to run your mouth, letting everyone in the workplace know just exactly how you feel. Kenny did just that, espousing his true feelings when a student told him that his father thought he “ruined baseball.” What’s the worse that can happen? They fire you? You wanted to leave anyway.

“F*ck that noise. I can’t do anything tonight. I got sh*t set up already.”

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There will eventually come a time when your superiors at work ask you to cover someone’s shift on short notice. Be like Kenny and shut that sh*t down. When Powers was asked to work as a chaperone for the school dance, he properly killed that suggestion by telling the other teachers that he was busy, but of course, in the Kenny Powers’ way. Perhaps you don’t have to be as rude, but politely let your superiors know that you got stuff to do. Then, show up hammered, sweating, and raving like a lunatic — it worked for Kenny, and it can work for you too.

“What the f*ck kind of operation you running here, man?”

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When Kenny can’t find April in Chapter 15, after being left with his son Toby, he heads to her job at a reality company and meets with her boss Jamie. With Toby in a backpack full of lettuce, Kenny is amazed when Jamie can’t help him and he spouts the above line. You can use that line at work (on your last day), when your supervisor at the grocery store tell you that you have to arrange all the Pepsi cases to look like the store’s logo. Because a day will come, for us all, when we must make our stand.

“Why don’t you hold your d*cks for a minute.”

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Nothing will get you fired faster than insulting a customer, so do that sh*t with gusto. KP had no qualms with telling a family of three to “hold their d*cks” during a round of miniature golf. Of course, he and April were plastered, but you don’t have to be drunk at work to tell the next customer in line to wait their turn in the most profane way possible. When your bosses hear about your “incident,” they’ll be sure to fire you, and you’ll walk away looking like the champion of bad customer service. Now kick over a display on the way out and put an exclamation point on your resignation.

“I quit, Roger. I f*cking quit.”

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Kenny Powers decided to quit his Mexican league team in the most Kenny Powers way: bringing a gun on the field, dancing with it, and then throwing it into the crowd for a little girl to catch. As he was chased off the field, Kenny told his coach that he quits with the very direct statement above.

Remember, Kenny Powers may not be the most elite of persons to follow into the land of unemployment, but it always works out for Kenny in the end. You might have to fake your own death once in a while, but you’ll come out on the other side right as rain. Just don’t throw guns at little kids.

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Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) was never shy when it came to talking about himself. Though with all the outlandish things KP said over four seasons of Eastbound and Down (available to stream anytime on HBO Now), the occasional genuine wisdom nugget did manage to slip out from time to time. While Kenny certainly had an impressive ego and the attitude to match, he was always concerned about not only being the best, but also his best. So, the next time you feel the desire to work toward becoming your ultimate self, let these Kenny Powers quotes be your guide.

“Sometimes you’ve got to wash away the paint and reveal to the world the jackass that’s hiding beneath.”

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Few people were as wrapped up in their celebrity persona as Kenny Powers once was. After he sheds his public image, eventually taking refuge down in Mexico, he finds himself succumbing to a deep depression.

“Don’t skimp and get the Vizio, get what you deserve. Get the Sony.”

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Becoming your ultimate self doesn’t mean it’s always about you. For example, when Kenny tells Stevie (Steve Little) to treat himself to a top-of-the-line flat screen TV, he does so because he feels it’s what Stevie deserves — so long as it’s not 3D. (Kenny has very strong feelings about 3D TVs, it turns out). Regardless, being generous with your friends will go a long way in helping you to better yourself.

“F*ck you, you poor sport. Take a beer and shut the f*ck up.”

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Sometimes not everybody is going to appreciate a grand gesture of showmanship, and as Kenny pulls a stunt that ends up getting him tossed from the game, he doesn’t let it phase him. Sometimes being the ultimate version of you simply isn’t going to win everyone over, regardless of your intentions. In situations like this, it’s easy to see why having a beer or two to pass around might come in handy.

“I’m just saying in general, if you find someone you don’t like in your family, it’s perfectly acceptable to f*ck them over.”

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Okay, so this has less to do with bettering who you are, and is instead more along the lines of advice you’ll want to keep in mind. You can look at it like Kenny would: that this family member might just be the egg that gets broken while you’re making the omelette that is your ultimate self.

“I got two hard rules I live by, Pop: I don’t f*ck with the devil and I never do tag-teams with blood relatives.”

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In one of Kenny’s most personal moments, he realizes that despite growing up “a world away” from his father (Don Johnson), he ended up having much more in common with him than he realized — and not in a good way. It’s a hard situation to find yourself in, but like Kenny, you can use moments like this as a reminder that you’re starting to understand how to be the better person that you aim to become.

“Not all alphas are born, children. Some animals become great. They use their mind, form respect, and build alliances.”

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If you’re going to have Kenny Powers impart a lesson on young minds, the idea that who you are is yours to decide is not a bad way to go. Although the follow-through, which involved trying to get one of those young minds to feed a handful of raw chicken to a dog, was a bad way to go. Remember, self-improvement is a journey, not a destination.

“The change into your ultimate self is easy when there’s no other option.”

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Kenny’s lamentations on the nature of change is really where his ego-driven optimism gets its best chance to shine. To him, a fundamental change for the better is simple, and with the right mindset can be something that’s as inevitable as the caterpillar turning into the butterfly. Whenever your mind starts to give way to doubt, remember that the only direction worth facing in life, as Kenny himself says, “is f*cking forward.”

“Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me.”

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Sometimes you just gotta give credit where credit is due, and looking back at the trials and tribulations of Kenny Powers over the years, everything he ever said, good or bad, all hinged on this one idea. After all, no one is going to be more singularly dedicated to your own self improvement than you are. While the road to your ultimate self may be a little bumpy from time-to-time, by channeling your inner Kenny Powers, you’ll be able to become the person you always wanted to be.

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Kenny Powers isn’t always honest with himself, but he’s always honest when it comes to expressing how he feels about others. Through four seasons of Eastbound & Down (which is available to stream on HBO Now), Kenny pissed off nearly everyone he encountered with his no-holds-barred brand of honesty. And while his method of laying it all out there isn’t for everyone, there’s a certain refreshing quality to “f*cking somebody up with some truth.” If you’re feeling that you could use a little bit of confidence to be more honest, let these Kenny Powers moments of hard truth inspire you. Just be careful that you don’t go around dropping these atomic truth bombs word-for-word.

“I’m about to f*ck you up with some truth.”

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Obviously, if we’re going to do a rundown of hard truth Powersisms, then we gotta kick it off with this stunner. When Kenny first rolled back into April’s life, he was just as cocky as when he left it, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t show her how he truly felt. When April rejects Kenny’s invitation to follow him to Tampa, he flat-out tells her he needs her support. This line’s certainly guaranteed to grab somebody’s attention, so make sure you follow it up with something that’s gonna hit’em hard.

“You can train all you want. You can work on your catchin’ and your throwin’ and your runnin’. Hell, it might even be enough to get you into the majors. But, in order to be a standout, an all-star, a champion, you need more than hard work and dedication. You need something that you can’t work for. You need a blessing from God Almighty.”

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Kenny Powers is without a doubt one of the cockiest TV characters ever, but that doesn’t mean he’s not self-aware… sometimes. It’s a hard truth, but not everyone is cut out to be a champion. More often times than not, the greats are just born with a little something extra that the rest of us will never have, no matter how much practice time is put in. Kenny knows this and he’s not afraid to tell it like it is.

“You’re crazy if you think you can just swoop in here and I’m weak and you can take my power. You’re not gonna be team leader. I’m unstoppable. *CHOMP*”

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Kenny and Ivan hated each other from the start and things never improved during his time on the Myrtle Beach Mermen. Shane’s death only made tensions worse, and Kenny wasn’t about to let Ivan steal his nonexistent thunder in the minor leagues. If you really want to be blunt with whoever the Ivan Dochenko may be in your own life, spit this line out and follow it up with a KP chomp for maximum impact.

“Not all alphas are born, children. Some animals become great. They use their mind, form respect, and build alliances.”

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The idea of somebody like Kenny Powers molding the impressionable minds of tomorrow is a scary thought. While much of Kenny’s parenting is questionable — like keeping a pet wolf — he doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to telling his kids the truth about talent and pecking order. Rest assured, though; the Powers children will grow to become their own alphas and form and likely break alliances. It’s the Powers way.

“I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not gonna like you, no matter how many pull-ups or push-ups you do.”

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Kenny Powers isn’t one to put up a phony front upon meeting somebody, whether it be adult or child. He may be a washed up MLB star who has now been reduced to grade school P.E. teacher, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to hold his tongue when it comes to his opinion on his pupils. This sort of honesty probably won’t put you in good standing in the workplace, but then again, the KP brand of honesty isn’t for everyone.

“I know you are all looking at me and thinking like, ‘That guy is exactly my same age.’ But I’m not. I’m a grown-up, real person. Y’all don’t have a f*cking clue. Y’all are doing Facebook sh*t, the Internets, the DVDs? That’s all bullsh*t. Your sh*t isn’t real. But from where I’m standing, a full-grown man who’s achieved his dreams. My sh*t is about as real as it gets. Besides, I can out-party, out-drink, and out-f*ck all of you.”

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Kenny Powers has no patience for millennials — or most people, really — and when he rolls up in Andrea’s college class, he doesn’t hold back. Yes, he’s out of touch in his belief that he can physically pass for a 22-year-old and his shunning of “the internets and DVDs” is even more out there, but the man has no qualms about letting the entire class know he’s a “grown-up, real person.” This sort of honesty is bound to sting, but Kenny Powers isn’t the type of person to sugarcoat the truth to spare hurt feelings. Are you?

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Eastbound and Down (available to stream anytime on HBO Now) made a considerable impression, mostly thanks to its co-creator and star, Danny McBride, who played the foul-mouthed former baseball wunderkind Kenny Powers. McBride’s set to return to HBO next month in the new sitcom, Vice Principals, as one of the titular vice principals who vies for the top position at the school. It may seem like a drastic change as far as characters go, but if you look back on Kenny Power’s brief and ill-fated teaching career, you can’t deny that he taught more than his share of lessons to those students. For those of you who are looking to impart wisdom on a youth, here are Kenny Powers’ best lessons from his brief tenure as a middle-school gym teacher.

1. Wow Them With The History Of You

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Kenny Powers knows that he’s awesome, so what better way to shape the young minds of tomorrow then by talking about himself? He’s a former superstar who changed the face of Major League Baseball when he was only 19 — just a few years older than these kids in his class. Do you think he has time to answer questions about running the mile? Would you have time to answer questions about running the mile? No. Instead, Kenny wisely chooses to focus on his own definitive greatness. Otherwise how else are these kids going to learn from it? While you don’t have Kenny’s resume, your kid is better off abandoning the academic questions to ask about your accomplishments… or Kenny’s, of course.

2. Be Confident And Never Coddle

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More often than not, if a kid needs some motivation, they’re probably not going to get it by being coddled. Luckily for them, coddling isn’t the way Kenny Powers does things. Instead, he looks at the world like it’s something to be conquered while it simultaneously revolves around him. Sure, it may sound ridiculous, but that outlook has helped Kenny get through both good times and bad. Maybe there’s something to a rabid, unchecked ego after all.

3. Don’t Fight In A School Surrounded By Books

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Even when Kenny is at his most buttoned-down and most ready to give up his hopes and dreams for a small-town gym teacher’s life, he’s still quick to react when a fight erupts in the library between two students. After breaking up the fight, he kindly comforts the love of his life, April (Katy Mixon), after she takes a stray punch to the face. Even through all this heartbreak and emotion, Kenny’s still able to teach not one, but two valuable lessons throughout all this. The first: there’s a time and a place for everything. The second: fighting and books simply do not mix.

4. Focus On Priorities

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This is probably the most important lesson Kenny gets to impart during his brief time as a middle-school gym teacher. While he’s leaving the school behind under the false pretense that he’s going back to the Majors, he takes the time to tell the kids what’s really important in life: being able to make it rain. Cash does rule everything around us, after all. Still, he shows an enormous amount of discretion by holding back the exact amount he’ll be getting paid, but he’s sure to note it’s enough to make all his students’ parents depressed.

5. You Do You

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This is a great Kenny Powers lesson, and not just for the content of his message, but for the manner in which he gives it: over a hijacked school PA system. While it turns out that his teaching career wasn’t meant to last, everyone can take comfort in knowing it’s only because being a teacher wasn’t who Kenny really was. Still, it’s the underlying message in what he’s saying that really resonates here. Know who you are, and be proud of who that person is. You think there’d be a punchline right around now, but that’s actually a pretty solid message.

Finally, and this should be obvious if you really want to win at life, the best way is to simply dance your way through it. Just know you look cooler in your mind than you do in the hallway.

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When you look at the first episode of Eastbound & Down and the final episode, it”s surprising to see just how much emotional ground that show covered. If the entire series had been set at that high school and just dealt with Kenny Powers coming to terms with his own life”s left turns, it would have been a beautiful ending, but much smaller scale than what the show eventually became when it ended three seasons later.

One of the benefits of the way they shot their new HBO series Vice Principals, which they wrote and directed along with David Gordon Green, John Carcieri, and Adam Countee, is that they knew right away how they wanted to end the nine-hour movie they were making, and they shot the entire thing in one long stretch. Both seasons are done. You”ll get two nine-episode runs, and when that”s finished, the story is over.

And they promise that you have no idea where that ending is going to take you.

I really like the sort of storytelling that these guys are known for, and I fully acknowledge that what they do is not for everyone. But that”s kind of the point. So much of what is produced these days is produced in an effort to reach the most people possible, to make the most money possible, to be as broad in its appeal as possible. People treat it like a science. There is a formula that international financiers look at to try to make that happen. It”s a constant push if you”re looking for any serious money at all, and these guys… they don”t care. They”ve found a place where they can tell the kinds of stories about the kinds of characters that interest them, and they”re taking full advantage of the freedom that affords them.

We get a wee bit spoilery here, but I”ve only seen the first six episodes myself. I also try to keep most of the conversation general, more about the craft than the story points. We talk about how you get Bill Murray to make an appearance in your show, the weird and wonderful Walton Goggins, Danny McBride”s shock at learning he was going to be in an Alien movie, and Jody”s upcoming feature The Legacy Of A Whitetail Deer Hunter.

It”s great fun, and I can”t wait for Vice Principals to premiere on HBO on Sunday, July 17.

Have you been watching Vice Principals on HBO so far?

If not, you”re missing a completely deranged new comedy that is only going to get more deranged as it goes. This should not be a surprise since it”s the brainchild of Rough House Pictures, the partnership between Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and David Gordon Green, and it”s their first HBO show since Eastbound & Down went off the air. While many of the same people are working in all departments on Vice Principals, as it unfolds from week to week, it”s clear that they”re not just rehashing the same sort of thing they”ve already done, and that judging this show from its pilot is impossible, because it”s not the same show even now that it was a month ago.

One of my favorite things about Vice Principals is the score, which takes some pretty big stylistic swings. Joseph Stephens is the show”s composer, and he dropped by the HitFix studios at Woven, where we sat down to talk about how he came up with the show”s signature sound. He also scored Eastbound & Down and Observe and Report for Jody Hill, and I like that none of those projects sound remotely the same. Hill has a great ear for how to use a needle drop, and unlike so many big-budget feature directors, he doesn”t just use the same 20 songs everyone uses. But while he can wield a well-timed pop song like a doctor with a scalpel, Hill relies on Stephens to really give his projects a unique sonic signature.

So often, scores are overlooked or under-appreciated when it comes to comedy, but the score for Vice Principals is a huge part of what works about the show. Considering how dark some of the material is and how far Hill”s willing to go with these characters, the score could totally change the nature of the show. What Stephens does so well is find a way to hang together all the complicated emotional ups and downs of the show, and particularly of Neal Gamby (Danny McBride) and Lee Russell (Walton Goggins). Watch this week”s episode and just listen to the way Stephens charts the evolution for each guy over the course of what happens. This is great work, and Stephens, like the rest of this creative team, was easy to talk to about his process.

Vice Principals is airing now, every Sunday on HBO, and appropriately airs what should be an insane season finale on September 11, 2016.

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If there’s anything to be learned from the tragic tale of Stevie, it’s don’t pursue somebody when they’re not worth pursuing. Also, chin prosthetics are a bad idea. In celebration of all those cringe-worthy Stevie moments, let’s rank some of the worst things that befell this doofus of a sidekick.

9. His Never-Ending Humiliation At The Hands Of Kenny Powers

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By all accounts, Stevie’s life was rather respectable before Kenny Powers came strutting back into the halls of Jefferson Davis Middle School. The life of a band teacher might not be a flashy one, but Stevie was liked by his coworkers and remained blissfully unaware of the deplorable path he was about to go down.

From the second that Kenny shoves Stevie over to squeeze next to April at the lunch table, it was all downhill for the guy. Kenny’s first interaction with the guy is humiliating, telling Stevie “I got a lot of memories in my life and sometimes you have to dump the small ones to make room for the bigger ones.” Most people would probably take this as a cue that they’re dealing with an egotistical prick like Powers and they’d move on, but unfortunately, Stevie latches on for approval and begins his downward spiral. From then on, it’s just one pathetic example after the next of Kenny treating him like a piece of human toilet paper.

8. When He’s Disrespected By His Family

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Stevie doesn’t exactly show his family the highest level of respect — he did cheat with Shane’s grieving sister after all. Even still, you can’t help but feel for the guy who has to support a wife and four kids who view his groin as a punching bag. And as soon as Stevie does build up a modicum of respect from his family when he moves them into a modular home, it’s not long before Kenny comes back around and tells Stevie “If you’re not with me you’re against me. From this moment forth, I f*cking hate you, dawg.” And just like that, Stevie returns to being Kenny’s lap dog and his self-respect goes down the tubes. It’s all part of the vicious cycle of defeat that is Stevie Janowski’s existence.

7. When Stevie Got Shot By Kenny

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Getting shot is usually a deal-breaker for most people in a friendship, even if it’s by accident. Thankfully, Kenny lovingly nurses Stevie back to health… only kidding. That, of course, didn’t happen. Kenny does take the opportunity to swipe what cash Stevie has from his pockets while he’s passed out and then blames Stevie for the trigger burn on his palm, though. In Stevie’s warped mind, this is all part of the invitation to rekindle their friendship and head out for a night of “staring at buttholes and getting a buzz on.” Stevie’s predicament may be a sad one, but you gotta admire the guy for having a delusionally positive attitude about the whole thing.

6. When His Glue-Covered Shame Was Revealed.

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Stevie brings most of the embarrassment upon himself by trying to keep up with Kenny Powers’ own self-inflated ego, but heaps of it are piled on him from others, too. Whether he’s being mocked by the students at his school, ridiculed by Kenny’s secondhand sidekick, Shane, or insulted by Ashley Schaffer, Stevie sets himself up as a punching bag for all. Hanging out with Kenny too much eventually turns Stevie into his own worst enemy, leading him to cheat on his wife, Maria, and then shave his head in some sort of bizarre self-flagellation attempt to win her back. Looking like an extra from Deliverance, Stevie realizes the bald and beautiful look doesn’t apply to him and he dons a wig. Having the wig ripped off and exposing his glue-covered head, without a doubt has its place among Stevie’s most embarrassing moments.

5. When He Was Financially Bled Dry

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Nobody gets rich off teaching middle schoolers to play the saxophone, but Stevie was able to support himself. Then the money squandering monster that is Kenny Powers came along. It wasn’t long before Stevie quit his job to help Kenny climb back to the top, only to be fired by Kenny and left to work at a Starbucks. If that wasn’t bad enough, Kenny runs Stevie’s credit into the ground by living off his credit cards in Mexico, and like the gullible idiot that he is, Stevie takes the credit trail as a sign to head south of the border.

If credit card theft wasn’t enough to bury the guy, poor Stevie takes the debt and the blame for Kenny’s failed memoirs, The Powers of Now. Of course, this was all just a warm-up for Stevie’s worst financial decision — allowing Kenny to rope him into a restaurant venture so tacky it makes Hooters look classy. Mall kiosks are the bastard stepchildren of retail, and Stevie’s decision to try to support his family with Tater N Tits was yet another blow to his already dismal finances.

4. Becoming Ashley Schaffer’s Chore Monkey

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After feeling burned by Kenny and left in financial ruins by Kenny’s failed memoir, Stevie succumbs to the minimum wage lure of working for Ashley Schaffer Kia. I’m assuming he’s being paid, but he’s treated more like a prisoner and is regularly tormented by Ashley and his sales goons. If becoming the Ashley Schaffer Kia chore monkey wasn’t soul-crushing enough, the true horror that is now Stevie’s life is revealed at the Schaffer plantation. Hopped up on Fanta like a white trash Colonel Sanders, Schaffer has forced Stevie to dress up as a geisha girl named Cherry Blossom for the entertainment of some Korean businessmen. It’s a level of humiliation too low for even Kenny to bear, pushing him to swoop into rescue mode.

3. The Downfall Of The Chin

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Having that joke of a chin blown off his face was the best thing that could have happened to Stevie. Sure, it would have been a lot less painful and traumatic if he’d had the practical joker of a plastic surgeon who put it on remove it, but that’s a minor detail. Hitting the low point of contemplating suicide because he’s ruined his face and his family certainly found Stevie in his darkest moment yet on the show, but in losing the mini Bruce Campbell glued to his face he regained some of his dignity. Yes, the show suggests that he developed an addiction to painkillers, but eh, chin removal comes with a price.

2. Stevie’s Manhood

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Throughout the series, it’s alluded that Stevie’s not confident in his manhood. He blames his inability to perform with Maria on cocaine and ridicules the size of his equipment. Besides wishing that he was Kenny’s junk he threatens to shoot himself in the crotch, declaring “my dick is a little b*tch.” Eastbound & Down co-creator Jody Hill revealed to Vulture that Stevie’s dong was a regular go-to joke in the writing process and had a scene planned that was understandably too much for actor Steven Little to sign on for.

Hill has been trying to get Stevie naked since the beginning; last season, when Kenny found Stevie so distressed over the loss of Maria that he had shaved his head, Hill wanted Little to emerge not only bald but naked. He then wanted Stevie to puke on his own penis. Little refused. Hill tried again in last week’s episode when Stevie was threatening to commit suicide in a motel room. “That seemed like it would fit in a gonna-kill-yourself scene. It seems like you get naked to do that. But he just would not do it,” Hill said.

Just think, if Little would have gone all the way and actually vomited on his manhood, that moment might have clinched our top spot. #Hindsight

1. The Birth Of The Chin

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Blowing a piece of your face off with a revolver would normally take the top spot here, but I’d like to argue that the chin’s birth was actually a lower point for Stevie than the removal of said chin. The prosthetic that looked like a doctor glued Jay Leno’s chin to Stevie’s face and then hit it with bronzer was season four’s best sight gag but it marked the lowest point yet for Stevie. Up until that point, he had only aimed to keep up with Kenny’s level of partying and grandiose appearance. With the chin, Stevie aimed to surpass Kenny and shift the barely there spotlight of fame his way in the most bizarre way possible. Besides leaving him looking like a Dick Tracy villain, it put him $50,000 in the hole and left him unable to provide his kids with any Christmas gifts. Truly, this is the moment in which we all felt the most sorry for Stevie.

Since the first time I saw The Foot Fist Way, I have been a fan of the work of Jody Hill and Danny McBride. They have a number of other regular collaborators who are part of the wonderful work they”ve created together so far, and you can”t talk about them without also talking about Ben Best or Shawn Harwell or John Carcieri or David Gordon Green or Tim Orr or Joseph Stephens, because they”re all part of what I love about Observe and Report and Eastbound & Down and now Vice Principals.

I”ll have more to say about this season once it comes to a close next week, but today, I am struck anew by why I have such a strong reaction to the films that Jody Hill has directed, and I think I finally have a handle on it. I often find myself having a strong emotional reaction to something without being able to fully articulate why, which is one of the reasons criticism mattered to me as a film fan in the first place. It”s an attempt to explain how we engage with art, to put a name on those things that we react to even if we don”t fully know we”re doing it.

A few weeks back, there was an episode involving motorcycles and missing books called “The Foundation Of Learning,” and I must have watched it four times in the week after it aired. I ended up writing to Jody directly. In part, I wrote:

What I love about your work is that you have devoted a career to studying the way people either do or don't get a win in life. You know that there are no permanent versions of either, so your work drills down on the small wins and the small losses. Moments of victory or moments of humiliation, and that fine line between them. The ending of this week's episode is maybe the best example of that I've seen you pull off so far. Gamby loses, but then Gamby wins. And Lee savors his win before you hand him a brutal loss. For Belinda, that loss becomes a win in an upsetting way, while for Amanda, her loss might well become a really unexpected win. It's gorgeous writing, gorgeous direction, and the cast is so good together.

I”m particularly interested in the way his work examines what we consider a win or a loss, and how fleeting those feelings can be. That”s what made Eastbound & Down so consistently absorbing. Watching Kenny Powers constantly lose the things he thought he wanted in favor of the things he actually needed, and watching the slow dawning of his awareness of just how fleeting every victory was, and how hard-won they could be, was no less than watching someone slowly but surely develop a soul. I was discussing Vice Principals with some friends lately, and one guy mentioned how he can”t watch these shows because he thinks every character is an asshole, and to me, that misses the point.

Look at Neal Gamby, the character played by Danny McBride in Vice Principals. He”s certainly insecure and full of bluster, and he”s willing to cross some pretty profound lines in his effort to destroy Dr. Belinda Brown, played so brilliantly by Kimberly Hebert Gregory. But Gamby is also a guy whose insecurity is hard-earned. After all, his wife Gale (Busy Philipps) left him and took their daughter Janelle (Maya G. Love), and Neal feels himself getting squeezed out of his daughter”s life, no matter what he does. All he has is whatever authority he”s earned at work, and that is threatened by Dr. Brown”s arrival. He knows people don”t like him, and it makes him more defensive, more closed off.

Even more fascinating to me this year has been the arc they charted out for Lee Russell, played by Walton Goggins. Lee is much more overtly sinister than Neal. He keeps complex dossiers on everyone in the school so he can destroy them if he has to. Or wants to. Or just feels like it in passing. When he and Neal team up at first, he seems to be the far stronger of the two of them, but little by little, Lee has been revealed to be terrified and fragile in ways that are heartbreaking. He has no power in his own house, and feels constantly emasculated, and his attempts at winning power are more pathetic than evil.

What they”ve done beautifully over the course of the show is reveal what everyone on the show wants, and just how hard it is for any of them to get there. Belinda Brown may have seemed strong when she showed up, but she”s revealed the cracks in her humanity with each passing week. Her relationship with her estranged husband (Brian Tyree Henry) and her sons Mario (Deshawn Rivers) and Luke (RJ Cyler) is incredibly difficult, and she”s fragile when it comes to them. She is fiercely devoted to her job, to a fault, and the same confidence and determination that have made her successful can easily curdle to become arrogance and blindness, something that Lee has exploited. 

For Belinda, revealing that human side of herself is a loss because of how it gets used against her. For Neal, revealing that human side of himself is a win because it seems to honestly be bringing him closer to Amanda Snodgrass (Georgia King), the teacher who seemed to be completely beyond him at the start of the series. At the same time, Neal can be his own worst enemy, as can Belinda, as can Lee. None of these people need anyone else to destroy them from the outside, because they are perfectly capable of destroying themselves.

Last night”s episode, “Gin,” ended with a long sequence involving Tanqueray and Dr. Brown that simply has to be seen to be believed. It is a remarkable meltdown, and it sets up the final episode of the season beautifully. But what fascinated me is how clearly they”re all starting to reach different places as people. Watch Neal as Belinda has her meltdown. He doesn”t feel good about what”s happening because he”s recognized something in her that he sees in himself, that same struggle with who he is and how he fits and whether or not anyone respects or even likes him. Lee can”t make that jump, can”t see anything but his own pain, and he even confesses that to Neal in the episode”s most naked moment. Whatever happens next week, sorting out how each of these characters defines winning or losing will be a dark and difficult pleasure. Jody Hill measures damage in millimeters, and when he twists a knife, he does it very, very slowly. But unlike most cringe comedy, he isn”t interested simply in bad behavior, but in the human frailty behind it, and the hope that drives it. I live for those little wins. We all do. And frequently, those little wins are all we get. I”m thrilled for you if you feel like you”ve beaten all of life”s challenges and everything is easy and wonderful. I don”t understand you, and I can”t remotely relate to you, but I”m thrilled for you. Congratulations. For most of us, though, a victory as simple as someone liking us back or recognizing a job we”ve done well or even just acknowledging the indignities that we all struggle with can mean the world, and no one is making more out of those moments right now than Jody Hill and the team behind Vice Principals.

Vice Principals airs Sunday night on HBO.

HBO

For all his reckless, insult-driven swagger and overwhelming ego, there was a lot more to Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) than met the eye. Though the show started out as a story about a hotshot young pitcher whose recklessness on and off the mound cost him his career, over the course of four seasons, Eastbound & Down (available to stream anytime on HBO Now) had more than its share of contemplative, bittersweet, or outright heartbreaking moments. Here’s a look at some of those quieter moments that forced Kenny Powers to extinguish the flame of awesomeness and gaze at the smoke to calmly reflect on what it really means to be Kenny f*ckin’ Powers.

8. Selling His Merchandise

HBO

The first time we really see a vulnerable side to Kenny is when he tries to earn some money by selling off all his old merchandise on eBay. While Kenny anticipates a bidding war that will drive up the value of his goods and bring a much-needed boost to his ego, he’s forced to deal with the fact that his fanbase just isn’t there anymore, and that he’s become what he was most afraid of: a washed-up former Major League ballplayer.

Having lost both his career and his fame, for the first time we see the real Kenny, the one underneath all that curly-haired braggadocio — a broken-down, insecure man who’s fear that the best part of his life is already behind him is starting to come true.

7. Faking His Own Death

HBO

Having spent years fighting his way back to the Major Leagues, Kenny finally gets his wish when he’s offered a job pitching for the Texas Rangers. Once he’s back in the locker room, he gazes at his name next to the number 55 that’s etched above his locker, he hears the sound of his screaming fans throughout the stadium and savors the look of fear in the batter’s eye. For the first time, it seems like everything was really back on track for our hero. That is until he drops the ball right here on the mound and walks away from it all.

Things only got stranger from there. As Kenny drives recklessly down a curvy mountain road, his car veers over a railing and explodes. The real underlying tragedy here is that he walked away with the intention of going back to his family. Which he does, just after he fakes his own death and bleaches his hair for the sake of anonymity.

6. Pat Anderson’s Offer

HBO

Just when ol’ KP was starting to feel good about his new life as a schoolteacher, the video of him knocking the eye out of Reg Mackworthy’s (Craig Robinson) head ends up going viral and sports agent Pat Anderson (Adam Scott) literally comes out of nowhere to offer him a job playing ball for Tampa. Suddenly rejuvenated with the thought of returning to the big leagues, his expectations end up crushed to pieces once he learns that Pat wasn’t exactly as big-a-deal as he’d made himself out to be, offering Kenny a job that not only wasn’t his to offer, but a job that wasn’t there in the first place.

5. Betrayed By Aaron

HBO

Knowing that he wasn’t going to be playing ball in Tampa, Kenny hides his shame by quietly relocating to Mexico where he tries to give up the one thing he has left: his identity. After getting some cornrows and a couple of new drinking buddies, Kenny becomes a cock-fighting enthusiast and even starts going by Stevie to completely sever himself from his old life. Then, one day, while burying his favorite rooster, he’s betrayed at knifepoint by Aaron (Deep Roy), the man who he’d just deemed his new sidekick. After a series of unprecedented lows, Kenny now finds himself alone in an unfamiliar land with an unfamiliar hairstyle. A sorrowful moment in and of itself, it does lead him back to the pitcher’s mound, which gives Kenny a much-needed silver lining.

4. Reconnecting With April

HBO

Showing back up in April’s (Katy Mixon) life after his tenure in Mexico, Kenny persuades her to have a little fun with him, which means some beer-fueled escapades on a putt-putt golf course. After they spend the night slowly falling back in love, Kenny wakes up the next morning alone, left with only a note on the counter from his former lover. Oh, and Toby, the baby they had together.

Even though Kenny had made a real effort to reconnect with April after abandoning her (and the rest of his life), it turns out shotgunning beers and picking fights with random parents wasn’t quite enough to win her back. While his dazed and broken heart is one thing, the fact that he’s suddenly expected to care for his son is daunting. And, frankly, a little terrifying.

3. Abandoning His Son

HBO

Here’s one that’s overwrought with disheartening moments. First, after a makeshift family reunion, Kenny finds his father, Eduardo (Don Johnson) sneaking out after scavenging his mother’s (Lily Tomlin) house for valuables in the middle of the night. After the racket wakes up Kenny’s mother, she invites her ex-husband to leave, only to realize that Kenny’s also trying to find a way out. He also wants to leave his infant son in her care in the process. Despite his mother’s assurances that his career in baseball will end, Kenny chooses the path of instant gratification over his own flesh and blood.

If all this weren’t bad enough, the most devastating part is how his mother, weathered from a lifetime of disappointment, just seems to shrug the whole thing off like she was expecting this to all happen anyway.

2. The Ending Montage

HBO

In typical Kenny Powers style, the show ends on an extended monologue, with Kenny musing about an unpredictable future; one that’s marked by both tragedy and triumph. Kenny’s steadfast in his optimism, as he finally speaks like a man who’s been changed for the better by the events in his life, an influence that he hopes will be carried on by those who loved him long after his death. Despite this renewed outlook on life, however, we’re left reassured that the wild, reckless Kenny Powers is still alive and well when his narration specifically cues the moment that the audience “goes f*cking apesh*t.”
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1. The Death Of Shane

HBO

Kenny had a few hangers-on over the years, not to mention the endless devotion of Stevie (Steve Little), but it seemed like the only person who really, truly understood him was his buddy and teammate Shane (Jason Sudeikis). Together, the two were a non-stop party fueled by alcohol and testosterone. One night, mired after losing a ball game, the two decide to kick things up a few notches, and Shane ends up overdosing on cocaine while Kenny dances to a pirated copy of The Bangles’ “Walk Like An Egyptian.” It was a sudden, shocking reminder that Kenny’s lifestyle had real consequences, though that didn’t stop him from crashing Shane’s funeral and hijacking the eulogy while backed by an old Candlebox song.

HBO

Like any great saga, Kenny Powers faced his share of enemies on his personal journey from cocky fallen athlete to not-completely-terrible-human being-all-of-the-time. Kenny was a hero to no one but himself — and Stevie — and his enemies in many respects weren’t that much worse than him. Still, he took on each of them and emerged victorious in the end.

The spectrum of Kenny Powers’ enemies is a wide one, ranging from passive aggressive former classmates to sadistic car dealership owners. Not all of them were equal and some definitely made Kenny’s life worse than others, but each played their role of nemesis to KP at some point in Eastbound & Down’s four-season run (which you can stream on HBO Now). So, to honor the enemies of Kenny “f*ckin'” Powers, let’s start with his weakest foe and work our way down to his most-hated of enemies.

8. Terrence Cutler

HBO

Somewhat insecure and average in every possible way, Terrence Cutler (Andrew Daly), was never a true match for Kenny Powers in terms of popularity. We never see any sort of flashbacks to Kenny and Terrence in their high school days, but it’s a safe bet they weren’t attending the same parties. After Kenny’s fall from grace, though, Terrence not only gets to be Kenny’s boss but he manages to steal his old flame. All of this instantly makes Principal Cutler Kenny’s arch-enemy, even though he shows no ill will towards Kenny, at first… After Kenny steals April away, Principal Cutler does go off the deep end.

7. Sebastian Cisneros

HBO

Kenny and Sebastian (Michael Pena) really should have been friends. The two men both enjoyed recklessly spending money and enjoyed deep discussions on the best part of the female anatomy. As the owner of the Charros baseball team, Sebastian was a fan of Kenny’s American style of showboating and wanted to make Kenny his gringo all-star. Once Kenny’s fling, Vida (Ana de la Reguera), met Sebastian and got a whiff of his money, though, it was only a matter of time before Kenny’s business and romantic relationship went up in smoke.

6. Aaron

HBO

Trading Stevie (Steve Little) in for Aaron (Deep Roy) as a new sidekick didn’t exactly work out for Kenny. While he was a lot more intimidating and ruthless than Stevie ever was — despite being two feet shorter — Aaron lacked Stevie’s loyalty. The foul-mouthed Aaron was quick to anger and thought nothing of bullying men twice his size. Kenny probably should have taken note of Aaron’s psychotic personality and steered clear, but he failed to do so and eventually found himself being double-crossed and robbed by Aaron of their cockfighting winnings. Stevie may have been a mostly ineffective sidekick, but the guy never pulled a knife on Kenny.

5. Dontel Benjamin

HBO

Loudmouthed bullies tend to only get louder and turn up the obnoxious a-hole behavior when they meet one of their own, which is exactly what Dontel Benjamin (Omar Dorsey) did when Guy Young (Ken Marino) brought Kenny onto Sports Sesh. Not one to give up his role as the show’s “funny guy,” Dontel annihilated Kenny with the sort of insults that would have crushed a man with a less inflated ego. Not one to bow out, Kenny made it his goal to shut Dontel’s “na, na, na,” catchphrase up once and for all and replaced his “whack style” with a new suit and $80,000 green Viper for added confidence. Armed with the support of April and a car he couldn’t afford, Kenny went in for round two of Sports Sesh and took Dontel down for good with a barrage of ruthless and crowd-pleasing insults.

4. Reg Mackworthy

HBO

So here’s the thing, if you throw a fastball out of rage and it knocks somebody’s eye out, you’ve likely made an enemy for life. Granted, Reg (Craig Robinson) did egg Kenny on, but the two weren’t exactly on good terms before the whole Ashley Schaeffer BMW ordeal. Two seasons later, when Reg showed up with Schaeffer at Myrtle Beach’s Black Bike week, it was evident that time hadn’t exactly softened the tension between Kenny and Reg, yet despite old wounds, he resisted Schaeffer’s demands that he smash Kenny’s pitching arm in a street fight. Too bad. He might have finished higher on this last had he gone through with it.

3. Ivan Dochenko

HBO

Despite being canned from the majors and kicked out of Mexico, Kenny Powers never lost his ego. So when the Myrtle Beach Mermen brought in Ivan (Ike Barinholtz), their young Russian hotshot pitcher, Kenny knew his chances of becoming top dog were in jeopardy. In an effort to sabotage Ivan, Kenny attempted to be his mentor, but the Russian quickly caught on that the Kenny Powers training method wasn’t exactly productive and declared war. Fortunately for Kenny, Ivan wasn’t accustomed to the rowdy, battery-chucking behavior that comes with a drunk stadium full of Rockingham Ruckus fans and he crumbled under the pressure.

2. Guy Young

HBO

Dontel might have been the obvious enemy to Kenny Powers on Sports Sesh, but it was Kenny’s ex-Atlanta teammate and Sports Sesh host, Guy Young (Ken Marino) who was the true threat. After Kenny took down Dontel and allowed his ego to once again get the best of him, Guy set out to humiliate Kenny by leaving his mic on when he went to the bathroom, allowing the entire studio audience to hear Kenny’s bathroom mirror pep talk. It was a dirty trick, and only the beginning as Guy later told Kenny at the lake while they enjoyed a leisurely jet pack sesh that he planned to destroy him for good.

Kenny had certainly met more formidable foes in his day, but with his marriage to April on the verge of collapsing, the stakes were high and Kenny found a way to emerge triumphant when he gave Guy a taste of his own hot mic medicine.

1. Ashley Schaeffer

HBO

Eastbound & Down’s Ashley Schaeffer (Will Ferrell) might not be the first name to spring to mind when you think of the greatest TV villains, but he certainly deserves an honorable mention. With aviator shades hiding the pure evil in his eyes and Nature Boy Ric Flair hair, Ashley Schaeffer, formerly of Ashley Schaeffer Kia and formerly, formerly Ashley Schaeffer BMW, became Kenny Powers’ greatest enemy. Reg and Kenny might not have liked each other, but it was Schaeffer playing the puppet master and pitting them against each other in the pitching contest that would result in Reg losing an eye.

Returning as a plantation owner who forced Stevie into the humiliating role of Geisha girl only fueled Kenny’s hatred of Schaeffer — and likely lowered his opinion of Stevie even further.

In the end, it would be Reg Mackworthy (and the Grim Creepers) who would defeat Schaeffer after he let fly a string of racist remarks when Reg refused to finish Kenny. A sweet bit of irony that allows Schaeffer to claim the top spot here.

Now that we’ve got all that Canada pandering out of the way, it’s time to talk about what really matters: AMERICA. For this week, we celebrate our Independence Day. July 4th will be spent eating massive amounts of food, drinking ungodly gallons of beer from flag-wrapped beer bottles, blowing sh*t up in the sky, and bitching about the new Jay-Z album. It’s going to be great, but until then, I’d like to take a moment to recognize some TV show characters that embody everything occasionally evil, but most greatly about this country of ours. Haha, not Australia — that’s the GREATEST country — but America. It’s the dream we all share. It’s the hope for tomorrow. F*CK. YEAH.

1. Richard Harrow

The right to the world’s most convincing plastic surgery.

2. Stan Rizzo

The right to grow a magnif(*cking)icent beard.

3. Liz Lemon

The right to LOVE, the right to LIFE, the right to night cheese.

4. Lucille Bluth

The right to get drunk during the day. And afternoon. And late afternoon. And early evening.

5. Daryl Dixon

The right to name a baby after a physical threat.

6. Keith Charles and David Fisher

The right to BE WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT.

7. Tina Belcher

The right to philosophize (about sex toys).

(via Getty Image)

HBO confirmed last night that Lindsay Lohan will appear in the upcoming final season of Eastbound & Down as “the daughter of one of the show’s main characters” in “a wedding scene set many years in the future.” Seeing as the show really only has two main characters (Kenny and Stevie, maybe April if we’re stretching the definition of “main”), there wasn’t a whole lot of mystery packed in that confirmation to begin with, but just to be safe TMZ checked in with one of the drones — unmanned flying device or slurpee-brained human TMZ employee, your choice — they have circling Lohan at all times and got an answer.

SPOILER ALERT: sources close to production tell us, Lindsay signed on to play the adult version of Kenny’s illegitimate daughter on the HBO series finale … and she’s currently filming on set in North Carolina.

Kenny’s baby seemed destined to become Lindsay Lohan. If you recall, Kenny stashed his bong and all sorts of sex toys in the baby’s room at the end of last season.

Now, we should probably take this with a grain of salt, if only because the very next sentence after their big casting scoop is “Kenny’s baby seemed destined to become Lindsay Lohan,” even though said baby was a boy named Toby who Kenny referred to as his son repeatedly during the most recent season. So there’s that. But assuming Lohan’s character is a different illegitimate child Kenny had over the years, then, yeah, this is pretty perfect casting. The only problem is that now we all know and the potential fun of the “HAHAHA THAT’S LINDSAY LOHAN AS KENNY’S DAUGHTER HAHAHA” moment is a little diluted. I recognize my role in this situation, and I apologize.

Here is a teaser trailer for the final season of Eastbound & Down. It contains no footage — not a single frame — from any of the episodes, no audio, no real plot-related hints beyond the very straightforward “Kenny Powers will rise like a phoenix” message, and none of the show’s legendary strings of profanity. It’s just a voiceover, some fire, and Kenny Powers standing amongst the ashes in a smoldering suit. That’s it. And I am STILL eight or nine different kinds of giddy over here. This show has that kind of effect of me.

So, anyway, to recap, here are the things we know about the show’s final season: 1) It is happening, beginning September 29; 2) Lindsay Lohan will appear at some point; 3) Kenny’s son Toby will still be so adorable that everyone will just die (unless they pulled a Modern Family and switched kids between seasons, in which case I will be writing a very sternly worded letter to the party or parties responsible); 4) This phoenix thing; 5) Judging by the above screencap, Kenny is now La Flama Negra.

(Via Vulture)

I was about to run out the door to take my dog to the vet but then I saw these fresh new Eastbound and Down promo posters and, well, my dog can wait a few minutes. Besides, he’s a Kenny Powers fan too, so it’s all good.

Here are all three…

The show returns to HBO in a little over a month.

(Via IGN)

HBO has just released the first full-length, actual-footage-including, Kenny-Powers-funeral-interrupting trailer for the final season of Eastbound & Down, and, yup, okay, now I’m officially excited. Don’t get me wrong, the Phoenix Has Risen teaser from a few weeks ago was nice, and it certainly reminded me to circle September 29 on my calendar (or rather double circle), but there’s something about Kenny Powers wearing giant sunglasses and tearing ass down a water slide in a wet suit that really speaks to me. I’m not a complicated man.

Related: Once we have the capability to put GIFs on t-shirts, I will need the machine gun shimmy at the 0:39 mark in a large.

UPDATE: Now with said GIF.

There’s only one man great enough to crash his own damn funeral: La Flama Blanca, The Pride of North Carolina, Kenny Motherf*cking Powers. Like Moses carrying the Holy tablets down the mountain, HBO has provided us with our first look at Eastbound and Down Season 4.

Not one to go quietly into the good night, Kenny Powers has returned to achieve the obvious goals: Fame. Money. Respect. Chicken change. Season 3 was originally intended to be Eastbound and Down‘s swan song but creators David Gordon Green, Jody Hill and Danny McBride decided that Kenny Powers needed one last go around. And based off the footage we’ve got so far, they’ve made the right choice. Kenny says he is a phoenix rising up, shimmies around to automatic machine gun fire, plays with donuts and goes to a water park – somehow making every activity seem even more epic than the last.

Even Stevie seems uncharacteristically bold: “If this world doesn’t give us what we deserve, we need to take it,” he tells Kenny. Interestingly, there are no scenes of Kenny actually on a pitcher’s mound, which was kind of the whole concept of the show. McBride and co. clearly realized that Eastbound and Down wasn’t the show about a John Rocker-style washed up MLB pitcher, it’s the show about the baddest dude alive.

In other words: “From this moment on: Kenny Powers only works for Kenny Powers.”

Pregnant women and those with heart conditions: watch with caution. Non-pregnant women: watch the trailer and get pregnant.

Photo: HBO

All this week, we’re going to be counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until the season premiere of Eastbound & Down at 10 PM ET on Sunday, September 29, because it is, at least to me, the second most important TV event going down. The Breaking Bad finale is, of course, No. 1 while South Park’s season premiere comes in tied at No. 3 with the Parks and Recreation season premiere. Also, The Black List and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. debuts are pretty high up there, as is the return of Person of Interest. Okay, there are a lot of awesome TV events happening this week, and I’m a fool for even suggesting a ranking beyond Breaking Bad.

That said, the return of Kenny Mother F*cking Powers and Eastbound & Down is one of the more surprising events, because the end of the third season made us think that it wouldn’t happen. (In case you’re still behind, I’ll go ahead and raise the spoiler alert warning right here, so you’ll know not to continue past the jump.)

After all, Powers basically ruined his last chance to shine in the big leagues by walking off the mound in Texas with 2 strikes on what would have been a strikeout in his first save opportunity, before he ultimately faked his own death so he could live the quiet life with April and Toby. Danny McBride and the rest of the amazing people behind Eastbound & Down have promised us an “epic season” and it’s going to have to be, considering how well (and appropriately) they ended season 3.

But I figured that we’d get this countdown started by recapping the teasers and trailers that have been released by HBO thus far so we can get a little taste of the awesomeness that we’re in store for.

I need to get something off my chest – I’ve watched the first two episodes of the fourth season of Eastbound & Down already. I normally don’t like bragging about the power that I wield as an Internet blogger, because I don’t ever actually get any perks and this screener was among the few. But I feel kind of bad about it because I love this show so much that I wanted to stay true to it and watch each of the eight episodes of this final season as they air on Sundays at 10 PM ET on HBO, starting this Sunday, September 29.

Okay, I need to get something else off my chest – I don’t feel bad about having watched the first two episodes at all. In fact, the only thing that sucks about it is that I don’t have anyone to talk to about them, and I’m too nice of a person to actually spoil for all of you how this new season picks up from the last. I’ll just say that it involves magic and a talking iguana. Or not. Only I know for sure.

What we all know, though, is that this show has delivered us so many amazing lines and hilarious moments that it’s impossible to remember them all without going back and re-watching the entire series for a fourth time. So here’s a collection of 25 of my most favorite Eastbound & Down GIFs from the first three seasons (in no specific order), and I encourage you all to add any that I forgot below.

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Okay, and one from the 4th season. But Danger and I agree it’s the best.